ASMR for Sleep & Relaxation

How a Breakdown Got Me Here

A few weeks earlier, I'd had an emotional breakdown. The job opportunity I'd been hoping for fell through. Months of waiting evaporated, and I felt completely lost.

When you're in that kind of despair, you need something concrete to hold onto. For me, that became bookkeeping. I made a plan: teach myself bookkeeping, follow Intuit's course, create a video portfolio, maybe get a certificate from the community college. It was solid and sensible.

Then I discovered my local library has a soundproof whisper room that patrons can use for free.

Suddenly, this ASMR idea I'd had floating around for years became actually feasible. I already had a condenser microphone. I could use my phone camera. All those video ideas I'd been passively collecting came flooding back.

And just like that, I had two paths: the practical bookkeeping route I'd just committed to, and this exciting, deeply uncertain creative path.

The problem? I'm a low-energy person. I knew trying to build competency in two completely different new things at once would mean I'd probably give up on everything.

Here's what really got me though: bookkeeping had never truly excited me. Yes, it was concrete, but was it really more secure than ASMR? I had no accounting background. Even with a certificate, there was no guarantee anyone would hire me. It would take time, effort, and luck - just like growing a YouTube channel would.

The difference? ASMR felt aligned with who I actually am.

The Mental Shift that Gave Me Permission to Start

That's when the mental conversation happened. The one that reframed everything.

The insight was simple: instead of choosing immediately between two ideas, I could test one and gather real data.

So I gave myself a specific experiment: Make and upload 20 videos in 6 months. Then reassess.

I'd put bookkeeping on pause and focus my creative energy on actually doing the thing, not just thinking about it.

After 20 videos, I'd have real information:

• Did I actually enjoy the process?
• Was it sustainable with my energy levels?
• Was I still excited, or had it become a chore?
• Was I getting any traction?

Only then would I make a real choice - not between an idea and a plan, but between two things I'd actually tried.

What Happened When I Actually Did It

Two weeks later, I published my first ASMR video.

The pre-publishing anxiety was real. I kept second-guessing everything. What if my description wasn't right? What if my tags were wrong? What if the whole process was flawed?

The post-publishing anxiety was worse. I realized the audio wasn't as loud as it should be - a pretty significant mistake for a channel focused on audio experiences. I started catastrophizing, telling myself I'd already failed.

But here's what I learned: I was looking for a reason to quit.

That's why I was afraid to check my analytics. My mind was trying to protect me from something big and scary by finding an escape route.

When I finally looked at the analytics - after recognizing this pattern - I saw that about 15–18 real people had viewed my video in the first day or so. Not hundreds. Not viral success. Just 15–18 people who clicked, watched, and spent time with something I made.

And you know what? That was okay.

Because I'd learned to see the data as just data. Analytics don't tell you that you've failed - they just tell you what happened. The story of failure? That's something you create.

What I Know Now

I'm still early in this journey. One published video doesn't mean I have the full range of experience needed to run a successful channel. I'm learning about audio engineering, video editing, managing my perfectionist tendencies, and the reality that meaningful growth on YouTube typically takes 12–18 months.

But here's what I know now that I didn't know before:

The process is genuinely fun. Yes, sometimes it's frustrating. Sometimes it's tedious. But fundamentally, I enjoy it. That's the signal that matters most.

Technical problems are solvable. Audio too quiet? I'm learning how to fix that. Each video teaches me something new. The next thing I want to get down is becoming a better performer. Believe it or not, a lot of ASMR involves performing, if only to set an object down so the microphone picks up the right sound instead of a heavy, bassy thud.

The fear never fully goes away - you just learn to act anyway. I'm still anxious about publishing. I still worry about click through rates, watch times, and growth. But I'm learning to recognize when anxiety is protective versus when it's just fear of something new and uncertain.

Small picture wins matter. Publishing one video and not letting the analytics destroy me? That's a win. Learning one new editing technique? That's a win. These small victories fuel the long-term vision.

The Real Lesson

Two weeks ago, I was torn between bookkeeping and ASMR, worried I was just in love with the idea rather than the reality.

Now I've done the reality. I've filmed. I've edited. I've published. I've looked at the scary analytics. I've learned technical lessons. I'm already planning the next video.

Starting something risky is scary, no matter what the project is. But the antidote to fear isn't certainty - it's action. You don't need to know if you'll succeed before you start. You just need to test whether you want to keep going after you've actually tried.

I'm 19 videos away from completing my 20-video experiment. And honestly? I already know what my answer will be.